Before the alarm goes off

Last night was a restless night. I'm not really sure why. I've been up since before 2 am. I spent time studying for my upcoming test. Honestly I really thought that would put me to sleep. Alas it did not! I figured by about 4 am there was no point in trying to go back to sleep when the alarm would sound at 5:30. So I thought I'd try to sneak a blog entry in before I have to cook breakfast.

--------- much later in the evening---------

Yesterday was our one year anniversary. It's so crazy to think about how fast this year seemed to go. There were moments it felt like it drug on forever, but overall it was pretty quick. It was a pretty good evening spent together. We got to really just reflect about the good and funny things over the past year. I consider myself to be really blessed to have the wonderful husband that I do.

Being married is a lot more difficult than I had imagined it would be. My life changed in MANY ways this past year. New role, city, home, job, etc... All in all I would say this first year was full of many adventures, but I'm sure glad to spend them with my husband. I'm so glad that I waited on the Lord's best for me.

One of the biggest things I've learned this past year is that a wife's work is never done! I've heard that saying time and time again. Before I became a wife, I didn't understand what that really meant. I think that a husband's work is never done either. I'm pretty sure it's called "adulting". I think for both parties the job continues, the work load is always there, and the stress of trying to get it done remains. God's really been softening my heart to these facts. Maybe He has something great in store for the knowledge I'm acquiring.

In an earlier post I made reference to the dreaded laundry basket that I just can't seem to keep empty. I think that's one of the most symbolic chores of a wife's work never being done. I think the struggle is that our jobs are ongoing and never really ending. The dishes will always need to be washed, meals will need to be cooked, the floors will need to be cleaned and the list goes on and on. There is always work to be done to take care of and manage our home.

When I lived with my dad I didn't always get the importance of the house being picked up. I was immature. I get it now! Sorry dad for all those times you came home from a rough day and the house wasn't picked up or there was a mess in the kitchen because I had cooked. My husband has explained to me on several occasions how important it is for a man to come home to a clean house. As a wife I'm just rallying around the fact that we are in one piece, dinner made it to the table, and I did something productive for the day. If the sink has dishes... it's ok because I did x, y, and z. If the living room hasn't been picked up, it's ok right? I'm learning that the effort to keep the home clean and organized means a TON to my husband. He appreciates that I take the time to work on keeping the house clean. I don't enjoy doing chores..... some people LOVE cleaning, it's not my favorite thing. My heart doesn't do flip flops from cleaning the house. My husband is an acts of service man. That's one of his love languages. It means a great deal to him that I WANT to clean the house for him. That I enjoy doing that. Therefore I try to make the effort to do that for him with a glad heart. It's an opportunity for me to love him in a way he speaks love.

It's funny how perspectives change when the circumstances change. I didn't realize the value in this type of work until I got married. God's really been working on me in regards to my role as a Proverbs 31 woman. Ladies it is hard work! There is a great deal of expectations for us to meet. There are days of great triumph... and days of catastrophic failure (maybe I'm being a tad bit dramatic here, but hey it's my blog and I can be dramatic if I want to.) Lol!

 I'm really looking forward to what this next year will bring. Hopefully the "big" changes will settle down for a bit. Right now we are focusing on getting involved in our church home and building our community here. I'm working on making new friends, which is hard when you are out of your comfort zone. I know that being out of our comfort zones brings about much growth.

Anyway, I better get off of here and get a GREAT night's rest!! I've been looking forward to a new blog post since I changed the look of my blog. I really like the look and feel of this theme.

Life is often bittersweet...

I really am pretty sure I'm one of the worst bloggers ever. I just often find that I don't want to sit and take the time to write out my thoughts. Though it ALWAYS makes me feel better when I do. So let's recap life...

I FINALLY am feeling much better. I think the last couple days have been the first in a VERY long time of no coughing. I actually was able to get off of all my over the counter allergy meds too! I know that was exciting. It has been a very long time of coughing. I basically got a sinus infection, bronchitis, etc... I got put on antibiotics and after 10 days of meds, I think it finally kicked it for me.

I took my ESL test. I felt like it was exceptionally difficult. I left that test feeling so discouraged. There wasn't a clear feeling of whether I did well or not. That's such a tough feeling. I found out yesterday that I did pass! Praise the Lord! I know that He's gone before me in all things related to our move. It's so hard to trust Him. I'm in the process of studying for my content area. I have to pass all four subjects. For those that asked why.... I'm an elementary education major. That means I should be able to teach any subject 1-8 grade. In Texas my certification would be content areas 4-8. I could also add on content areas k-6, but I am more of an upper elementary/middle school teacher. This upcoming test is the last one I have to pass. I have until January 1 to pass in order to keep my job. That's why I'm such a stressball about the whole thing. It's hard to have that deadline put on me. I haven't looked at Science or Social Studies in about 12 years.... yeah... I have to study....  A LOT! Prayers for this test are welcomed. Thank you for those who have been prayer warriors for me in this transition of my life.

Ok so many of you asked what happened to my sweet Bella. I went home last weekend. We didn't know that she was sick or in this case dying. Anyway, when we came in the door Friday night she cried with excitement to see me. She was wagging and excited to see us. At some point that night I went and laid on the couch and snuggled with her. She thumped her tail while I laid there and pet her. It was a sweet moment that I got to have with her. Saturday she seemed fine. We were in and out all day running errands for daddy. We had company that night and of course Bella seemed fine. Her and Katie were around begging for food. Sunday she seemed to be moving slower. Bella was about 10 years old, so we didn't think much about it. I noticed at some point she had trouble with her back left leg. She just kind of stayed propped up on the couch resting most of the day. She wouldn't even jump up in the recliner to sit with me (now I know she really couldn't). We talked a bit and rationalized what the issue could be. At some point I was sitting with dad and watching some tv. Bella got off the couch from her usual spot and sat on the cushions (where we'd sit) instead of the back of the couch. I was sharing some chips with Katie girl and Bella wouldn't really come over to eat some too. I would toss them to where she was laying and she enjoyed them too. About the time we were getting ready to leave, she hopped up to the back of the couch (her spot). I scratched her ears and kissed her bye, knowing that I'd be seeing her next weekend as we passed back by on our way in from Baton Rouge. I got a call from Dad on Monday afternoon. He was at the emergency vet with Bella. I was being informed that he had to make the decision to put her down. Later on after I got all the facts, this is what it boiled down to. Bella had a tumor that ruptured and caused internal bleeding in her spleen (I'm pretty sure that's where it was). Surgery wasn't an option as it would spread. They could have siphoned the blood out of the spleen and injected it back in, but it wouldn't fix the problem. Earlier that morning Bella had several episodes that appeared to be "seizures". They weren't actually seizures, but it was what it looked like was happening to her. That's when dad got her to the vet. He stayed with her as the vet put her down. I'm so thankful that I was not there to have to see my baby girl suffer like that. It breaks my heart to think about that happening to her. I raised her from a pink bellied little puppy. Bella was such a good dog. She made an excellent companion and brought a lot of joy to our family. She was a good companion for my dad when he was healing from his surgeries. She brought a great deal of joy to us both. So that's the gist of what happened to our sweet girl. She's not suffering and had a wonderful quality of life. I'm thankful that she was a part of my life.

This past weekend was great. I got to see several people from home. It was so different coming back. Life is much slower paced in Lake Charles. Honestly I miss that. I told Jacob I want to retire where it's slow like that. It was good getting to see our friends from Sunday School. It's hard to believe I've been "gone" for as long as I have. It's been good to move and get out of my comfort zone. It's hard! I think the Lord has really used this move to grow me closer to Him. I've seen His hand in everything though. I've seen Him working in all things. He's gone before us on so many things. Learning to trust in Him and relinquish control has been VERY hard. Even though I know I'm not in control, but I sure like to think that I am.

We are coming up on our 1 year anniversary. It's crazy to think it's already been a year. There has been a great deal of growing together on both of our parts. I know the Lord has REALLY been working with me on communication. If anyone asks me how married life is, my response is "hard work"! Everyday we have to work together to do what's best for the team. Life can be really hard, but I sure am thankful that I have Jacob in it with me. He's such a good fit for me. He's my best friend, my companion, my confident, and the love of my life. I'm so blessed to spend my life with him.

Anyway, I better get off of here and do some studying.